Tuesday, October 25, 2011

last day last freaking day.


I have no idea why. I love this song. So listen to it for yourselves alright?
I'm kinda bumped that my form three  life is practically over.
I'm waiting for the last day to be exact. :/ yikes.
Last day's subject : English & History.
God knows I've already given up on my History cos it's too freaking annoying with all chinese words.
Weird because I'm chinese but I hate chinese. Now who's with me? Haha.
I had the weirdest feeling. Hmph. It sucks at the same time so yeah.
After a few month of ditching church, I went last Sunday.
The praise and worship never failed to make me happy again. ;)
And hearing what the priest had to share that day really helped me as well.
God has his ways to help us. Believe in him. :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

:(


I'm not okay at all. :(
It's not easy at all. :(
It's killing me in inside. :(
I thought I'll be fine by now but I'm not. :(
Why why why and why's. :( 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

sleep does justice for us.


Hmm, woke up with a new day. Hee.
Thank God, he heard all my prayers all along. :)
I went to sleep last night, feeling how to say :/ err, assured! , finally. 
If I said that I wasn't worried then I'll be totally lying. But now, I'm okay. For now.
I still miss you. Like alot. More than I hope to.
I miss your hugs alot.
I woke up feeling way better than yesterday.
So yeah, I'm happy. :)
Oh I'm excited about work with yeo hui hui! :D
10 more days, yay!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Life goes on, i guess? Well, at least i want it to be.

 

Still got tonight - Matthew Morrison

If you're not home, I'll sit here on your doorstep
Button up my coat and wait
We'll go upstairs close the curtains and we're all set
to pick up where we left again
There's question marks hangin' over us
But we won't give the time of day, oh
'Cause all we got is these few stolen seconds
And we can't let them go to waste

The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight

Come 9am
I'm packing every suitcase
Leave you in your bed so warm
I'll do my best not to wake you but it's useless
Can't tiptoe 'round this no more, oh
It's gonna get much harder
Before it gets better baby and that's for sure, mmm
Just say you'll wait for my footsteps on the staircase
And I will walk back through this door

The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight

So keep your eyes open
There's no time to close them
Just hold on
So tight now
We still got tonight
(We've still got tonight)
(We've still got tonight)

If all we got is these few stolen seconds
We can't let em go to waste

The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight

We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight


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Life as we know it. It's still a mystery in all our cases. Yes, typing admitting but denying in my heart & on my mind, I do miss my past. I miss it without a doubt. When I see babies/kids, I'm talking to them in my heart, saying, *hi young ones, you guys still got your whole life ahead of you, don't you guys ever wish to grow up faster because you'll really regret it. You'll miss the days when you didn't have to deal with your clothes, your hair, your shoes, your feelings, your life. Live each day as if it's your last alright? Make that day the longest even though it's short as hell. As I watched them running up & down a clinic or wearing a bee costume walking in a diner, I just miss those days when life just wasn't a climb, when I could really have sweet dreams, when I can tie my hair in any way even though it's fugly (fucking ugly) just because I'm a kid & that everyone who stared at me would react the same, *Awwwwww, she's adorable! Now all has changed. I am now 15, going to be 16. Almost 16years I have been breathing, taking in everything the world has pushed down my throat, looking around & wondering what if, as always. Truth is, in reality, there are no what if's. What if's only exists in the past when we are too coward to face life. I thought I wasn't/ couldn't never be strong enought to face every single challenge that I had faced. To my surprise, I was strong, but in my own way. I faced it differently, in a way that even God wouldn't understand why, but that's me. I fight for my rights, I'll fight for it as long as it's mine to win. I'll win as long as I try. :) I'll stop here.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

life after pmr?

Pmr ended faster than i would ever imagine. I kinda miss it? Err. I miss the anxiety before the exams. Hahaha. Juniors having it next year and the year after, good luck! :) I should be head over heels after the exams but I feel like the opposite. You know life, as always, gets in the way. We can't control it, we just mourn over the fact that we lose things that matter to us. I didn't / wouldn't care for uec actually. I know that I'm sure to fail for history and geography uec. Hah. Its just too freaking hard. I gave up two years ago. So whatever la. I'm currently blogging here with the tv on, thinking what everyone is doing in school, I wish I was there. Yeah. I miss sitting in the class & talking away. Hahaha. Oh well. Most of all, I miss him. I miss him a lot.