New year come to me babeh!

It's Christmas tomorrow! Oh yeah. I'm super hyper thinking about it.

Main reason is because I want 2012 to come faster.

I want to start school badly! Lol. I know I'm weird. Hahaha.

Kay, I'll give y'all a short post today.

I'll upload pics of christmas soon! :)

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone! :)

Countdown to 2012.

Yes. I'm like eager for 2012 to come. I want it come sooner. I need it to come sooner. New year new resolution? Yeah, that's why. I need new resolutions. Urgh. I'm puzzled. I feel sad but not sad. I feel strong enough to face him but not really. I feel happy but not happy. I don't know! All I want is to not worry about this thing anymore. It shouldn't be mine to worry! It's just isn't fair, somehow. I'm not over it, and I don't think I wanna be over it. That's the problem. I don't know why I have to go through this over and over again. I just wished I wasn't the one who has to go through this. But I'm coping. In every possible way I can. I'm trying not to think about you. Life takes it's toll by throwing dices at me, and all I can do is breathe. :) Take it in one step at a time and try not to break down. But ladies! Not knowing anything bout that someone is better than  knowing anything about that someone. Remember this i tell you! Til now, I still cant find that place where I could pore all my feelings to. Til now, all that anger, that frustration has never been let out. I can't. Forget.

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I know you're there. You give me strength to face each road block. :)

I'm not okay.

依然爱你-王力宏

一閃一閃亮晶晶　留下歲月的痕跡
我的世界的重心　依然還是你
一年一年又一年　飛逝僅在一轉眼
唯一永遠不改變　是不停的改變
我不像從前的自己　你也有點不像你
但在我眼中你的笑　依然的美麗
日子只能往前走　一個方向順時鐘
不知道愛有多久　所以要讓你懂
我依然愛你　將是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到最後　一定會　依然愛你
(依然愛你　依然愛你…)

我不像從前的自己　你也有點不像你
但在我眼中你的笑　依然的美麗
日子只能往前走　一個方向順時鐘
不知道愛有多久　所以要讓你懂
我依然愛你　就是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到最後　一定會　依然愛你
(依然愛你　依然愛你…)

我依然愛你　或許是命中注定
多年之後　任何人都無法代替
那些時光　是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶　依然無法忘記
我依然愛你　這是唯一的退路
我依然珍惜　時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸　每個動作　每個表情
到永遠　一定會　依然愛你

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I feel like crap. About him. I don't get how he could just do that and leave. Leave and not look back. Is it my fault or is there something really wrong with me? Like seriously. They say the tighter you hold on to somebody, the faster they leave you. Maybe. :/ I'm tired of feeling like this.  I guess happiness isn't mine to endure now. I really don't know anymore. You just left. Just like that. I wasn't wrong. I was right. I thought about it before but I told myself : He'll never do that to me. Hmph. Guess i thought wrong. I just feel like crap. Fucking crap. For few months now, nothing can make me forget about the pain. I tried. I just cant. It ain't that simple, well at least for me. I thought friends, family, work, dance would keep my heart away from you, but it didn't. I need to stop thinking about you. Somebody help me. SOS.

Dots dots dots.

Kay, I got a perm about a month ago i think. 

Before, 

 

 

And then, after

How does it look guys? I need opinions. :)

Curls definitely added age to my look. 

I guess. :/ I'm satisfied with it? Haha.

It's not really curly yet not too straight. Just perfect hehe.

I hope my hair grows faster!

I want long wavy hair! Like seriously long long wavy hair! *grumpy face*

I love her wavy hair! I want mine like this.

I don't know if I should keep my fringe to the side or like hers.

Vanessa Hudgens's. I loveee! :)

Hair, come on. Grow. Grow.

This hair style is more... Erm. The curls are more curly! Haha.

I don't like it tooo curly, but I like how she tied it up.

 Nice and simple.

Hmm. I wanna try this some day. :)

GOSH, I WANT HER HAIR! 

Arghhhhhhhhh.

Holidays. School holidays. Hmmm.


#1      Work. taught me lessons, life lessons. I wasn't sure that I even wanted to know what the real world is like out there. There's nice people who would help you just because they want something out of it. There's people who would bring you down with just a few words because of some misunderstanding. There's people who don't have respect at all for other people. There's people who treat you like a maid just because you're working. Sucks right? Yeah. Mummy said that's life. Two tiny words came out of mummy's mouth. Two little simple words but yet so complicated. Worked my ass off for a month then finally. FINALLY. got my salary. Gave mummy, daddy and sis parts of my salary. Ended up with. $0. Money ain't easy to earn. Don't spend it like you own the world! I mean it kids. Haha I'm still a kid too.


#2     Nerves. are kicking in. Woooo. Pmr results on CHRISTMAS DAY. Hah. How am people gonna rejoice when their nerves are kicking in, thinking about their results. Hey government, Christmas aint about you or whatever. Not you, not politics, no shits. It's about Jesus! Come on la. Okay back to the point, I hope my results are "look-able" *fingers crossed.


#3    Pressure. A standing ovation for those seniors who've done it before me. I salute you all! I really do. Being the dance choreographer for orientation may seem as a simple task. But when you sitting infront of a lappy thinking what to do. And the inspiration does not come. It ain't easy at all. Really. :(:(:(:( Okay, my original song was O.K - B1A4 and now it changed to DREAM HIGH. My vision of the dance was always, from the beginning, was to use a korean song. Years years of orientation, why can't things be different for a change? I felt like crap because of the people. Yes the people. At the end, people will asking who choreograph this dance? Who chose this song? All fingers will be pointed in my direction, not you guys. At the end, I will be the one taking the fall. Get it? You know how it feels when people say why is the song like that? Why this and why that? It wasn't even my decision. And now I'm taking the blame, as usual. Figures.


#4    You. God knows you'll never look here. So what the hell. You make me fucking pissed at you everytime I see your name on facebook. I don't know why. Things have changed, without a doubt. But you haven't. I know you. I saw the way you stare at me. I regreted being so close to you for that time. I got attached. But that was my wrong-doing. I'm like glad that I don't have to face you anymore since you're form5 and next year will be a totally new start for me. I hope it would be. But then again, I don't know whether to let go or keep going. I'm being pulled back and forth here. I'm torned. After all this time, I never let it out. I didn't cry. I didn't talk to people about it. Writing always seemed to be a better way to help me let out my feelings but somehow, it doesn't anymore. I have no idea when, I stopped writing my diary. I somehow hope I could loose all my memory and start over again. That way, I can at least be me.