It's funny how a person describes CHANGE. People change. It's just depending on whether the change is good or bad. But when anyone asks you about change, it's definitely a trick question. Why you ask? Change is constant. If it benefits one, it also disadvantage in other's view. (That sounds so wrong) Never mind. Yes, the fact that change is constant and how change is a part of growing up, makes the world go round.

HAHAHAHAHAH KAY THAT'S NOT FUNNY. CHANGE, is a big part of my life. I can say so because I have changed. (You might be thinking yeah this is bullshit, I changed too. ) Yeah well noooo, I changed and I know I changed. I finally realized the changed in me. Let's say a year before, if you asked me what I thought about a certain idea, I'd be like: Yeah okay anything is fine. Now I speak my mind. Yes I do. Cause I don't see the point of keeping opinions to yourself when it can make a difference, when it might a even better idea if you speak up. Am I right here? People will say, they do say I'M THE ONE WHO'S CHANGED. But yeah it's true. People can call me arrogant, selfish, self-centered, annoying etc (you get the point ) But That's just me. That's why we have opinions. They're supposed to be spoken out loud. I kid more than I do before, and people find me funny. I have no idea why and I don't get what's funny about what I said. But I'm glad. I did what I felt like doing and that made someone's day brighter! Isn't it worth it? And I know I wasn't a good leader before and I'm still not a very good one now. I'm still having my training wheels on, some people are born with leadership skills I didn't. Like I said, I change heaps! Who would have thought I'd a leader now given my circumstances before? I don't blame nobody. But I'm slowly getting the hang out it. Slowly improving. With the help of my girls. :) And well friends? They're all great people I can't deny that. And yeah. We do get mad at each other, we tweet bout them.. But thats high school, heck that's life. We can't please everyone. Just knowing that one day, all the heartburn will go away. So peeps, embrace the change in you like I do! Happy holidays! :)

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Kay, as of 4th of July 2012 I was announced the 4th and new president of my school's pompom team. Four years ago, I was a junior. Just joining pompom because I envied my.sister being able to dance. You see, I never did dance before high school. Because of my size and height. No, I'm not fat. I'm chubby okay. In primary school, teachers only picked the short skinny ones to dance. Unfair right? :/ So, I said to myself when I'm in high school, I've got to dance! And I did. Who knew? Now I'm the president. From zero to ten over ten. I'm glad I never gave up. Pompom has played an important role in my life, thanks to it, I can dance the way I dance today. Thanks to my previous leaders, Ivy Ting and Ivy Hii. They believed in me. I won't let you guys down. I promise.

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Imma blog you away.

YOU WILL BE LOVED BY NICOLE SCHERZINGER. Listen to the lyrics carefully. And you'll know why it best describes my situation. Sometimes we give up everything for love, but later on realized that it wasn't love at all. And sometimes, you'll wonder, just wonder what would you do if it reignite again. WHAT WOULD YOU DO. It has been over 6months I guess, since we broke up. Yeah, feelings don't just go away especially how things went with us. But I'm fine now. :) But this post is about you, is for you. You won't read this but hopefully one day when you do read it, you'll remember me. Dearest you, after we broke up we lost contact for quite awhile. But sometime around Christmas, we contacted each other again. Old flames? Maybe. Something was there, I could feel it. But then again I might be wrong right? I never did forgotten about you, about us. It was always replaying in my mind. Every detail. Yes, it was a pain in the ass for you. The worst part is, you made it looked so easy. That's what killed me the most. You said you felt how I feel that night when I cried, you said that you would always be mine. At that time, was I too naive? Or did I loved you too much to see clearly? You can be with anyone you wish to, you change your mind often. But when I hear those things bout you, I feel sad for you. I still care for you until now, I always will, no doubt about it. I'm literally not that dumb, I'm always acting like I don't know a thing. But I know more than people think. I choose to sit tight and keep things to myself all the time. There's just things that are meant to be unspoken. I hope that you will think about yourself, think about your future. uoyevolsyawlalliwi. :'))

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IVY HII HUI XUAN.

Kay so she's ivy hii. Hui xuan. Haha. Pretty? Sexy? Hot? Nah I don't care. This little thing is one of my best friends. She's older than me by 2years but we get along perfectly. ;) for some reason, she's like a elder sister to me but at times, I have yo pick her up when she's down. She's bubbly, noisy, crazy,loud and extremely annoying! But I love her to death! ♡

Haha look at her dumb face. She's all strong and tough on the outside but she's fragile on the inside. People hate her because of her self confidence. But people like me, knows that it's just her disguise. I know all she wants to do is to cry out loud but she's holding back. My dear, you are amazing. I've known you for four years now and you have to know that anyone is crazy lucky to be with you, no matter it's him or others in the future. But believe in both of you, everything will be fine. God is watching over both of you. ;) I'll never stop praying for you. Love you dar. Take care.

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S.O.X 2012

Helloo helloooo again pepo! Thank you all for helping my blog reached 10000++ viewers! Woo it's a huge accomplishment, for me lah. :) Alright. Sox.

02062012
We were so excited that day. We boarded the 0725pm flight to KL that night. When we reached, it was almost 10 i guess? Then another 1hour+ ride to the lodge we were staying in. Had a long heart talk with my boys. Philip and Wuika on the flight to KL. Our triple bond. Hehe. :) Kay, we forgotten the most important thing! Our pompoms were left at the airport circling around the luggage thingy! Nevermind, so Ivy, King Ying and I are sleeping in one room. While waiting for Ivy to come back.. Well, put it this way, the three of us did not sleep at all that day!

03062012
I was the competition day! Yeah, the three of us were like pandas as we did not sleep at all. But I managed to sneek few minutes sleep while the hoops was competing. Heh rude i know. But I was tired okay. :/ I guess we did great? Considering the time and help we were actually 'given'. At least there were some teams that felt threaten?  Aha just maybe. The battle round. We just lost it! I don't know why, we did not do well at all. It is because the pressure? Or nerves? Or dennis was there? No/yes? I know it affecting our mood though! Alot.
Conclusion is, we did not place. But our drumline did! We are proud of them! They deserved it! :) My juniors starting crying after the comp. Yes, to us, to our team, this competition has been the first time we put that much effort into something. There were days and nights where we never stop practising. But I'm proud of all of them! Big time! :) Kay went back to the lodge, i was tooo freaking tired that i dozed off while talking with the boys. Aha yesh. Fell asleep in my room, causing my two roomates to have no where to sleep! So sorry! I swear they called me ike 10 times! But I did not hear a thing!

04062012
Spent the morning walking with the boys. Then went back to bring the others out. Ate breakfast. Went to times square and sungai wang. Spent the whole afternoon playing in the theme park. I went out from 0630 to 9pm. New record aw yeah! Anyways the day was great. Late at night, we all had a very very deep heart talk with all the teammates. It's a good thing we did though. Now we're closer than ever!


Let the photos talk.

 On the left is Chriz Ooi. On the right is Dennis Yin. They're both from Elecoldxhot. Both amazing dancers. :)

 

On the road to out lodge.

 

American flag shirts. *peace

 

This was taken after the comp. :)

 

 The day we came back home.

That's me with Dennis.

Holidays.

Hellooooo peeps! How're y'all? Great? Bad? Well good for you! Haha. Heh I guess it's been months since I'd last blogged. A sorry is in order. 

Lots had happened in this past few months. Okay, where do I start?  :/

THIS.

S.O.X Dance and Drums.

Our school joined apparently. But the school isn't supporting us at all! I mean friends and families are but the teachers and principles? Not so much. I swear, when I'm much older and I have a say in things, I'll sue the hell outta those people. Yes, I get that you all are trying to teach us that life's unfair. But you can try to be fair! You're supposed to educate us of what's right. Instead, I've only learnt to be unfair to others just because they are doing the same. The hell with that seriously! Anyways, we're in the finals which will be on the 3rd of June. At kuala lumpur. Can I count on you guys to support us? :)

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yea, this explains everything.

Over..

you? Definitely not. I'm not. I can say it proudly cos I really am not.

We shouldn't have contacted after everything that'd happen. I shouldn't replied.

I don't talk about you anymore. Even though if people asks.

All i would say to them is "can we talk about it privately?"

and then they would forget it because i kept postponing the answer.

 truth is, I don't have the freaking guts anymore.

I'm the loser here. No kidding.

Because I'm left behind with all these questions. And so forth.

I don't know how to talk about these feelings. 

I'm not sure if I even want them to be heard.

Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

2012.

I miss when life didn't had to be this complicated, when you start to worry about appearance, money, results and whatever. Urgh. I don't know. Maybe I'm emo. Or maybe I'm just a negative person. I don't see things like some people do. Up-til now, I still can't figure out who/what are my priorities. I'm a mess, honestly. If you ever see me, you might think I'm doing fine. I am, well breathing at least! I promised myself, form4 would be different. And yes, I'm trying to make it different, literally. Trying, key word. Haha. I have no idea why, but my form teacher kinda bullies me. Lols. She makes me pissed! Anyways, a best friend of mine made me smiled in class that day. Like really she did something and made me smiled! Unlike we're talking and then we laughed cos of something. No, she really made me smiled. :) She suddenly wrote those words on my physics notebook.
I smiled. Thanks!